So Very Awkwardly Nice

Hello fellow strangers and people I've pestered to read my blog,
I realise I was supposed to write about sleep as I promised in my last blog post, but I was bored on a Sunday night so I started formulating two blog posts in my head, neither of which have anything to do with sleep. I laughed at my jokes so I decided to write them down for a later date, but finished this one and decided to publish it. So here we are. This may be similar to Hyperbole and a Half, I've been reading that a lot lately and tend to be influenced by my readings, so if it is, I didn't mean to but at least I gave credit.
Depending on who you are, you may be familiar with my compliments or wonder why I am writing a post about them because all I do is harmlessly tease you. (Note: I NEVER MEAN anything mean) How do I know this? Well I tend to glorify every single person around me, which I guess is a good thing, but I also am terrible at social. This clashes with compliments in a weird way. These are the steps that seem to occur.

1. I notice something I like about whoever I am currently looking at. This happens almost instantaneously and is the easiest part of this whole thing. My thought process ends up something like, 'She's quite attractive."
2. I try to figure out what I like about the person, as my mind usually just ends up mean girling (That is a verb, and if it isn't, it should be)

   

   Credit to a random website that came up when I googled you're like really pretty mean girls

3. I stare at this person for a while until it becomes creepy, trying to figure out how to phrase the compliment without creeping the other person out, while creeping them out. I suspect by the end of this, there is drool hanging out of my mouth and I look really weird. 
4. I immediately say I zoned out and start laughing awkwardly to avoid creeping whoever I was staring at out. 
5. I then decide that I can't put the compliment off any longer and try to phrase whatever I was saying in words. In my thoughts, I'm saying "Your eyelashes are really pretty." But sadly, my social skills are very faulty so I usually end up sounding like someone who just got their wisdom teeth pulled out, or like a little kid trying to create a coherent sentence, which probably sounds something like, "Eyelashes grow pretty."
6. The other person usually looks at me with a sympathetic smile and laughs a little awkwardly to try to avoid an even more awkward situation and says something like, "Thanks?"
7. I then feel ashamed and try to explain myself, but again, my social skills are flawed because I don't often exercise these skills, as my mother seems to have noticed. This ends up sounding something like "HahaImeanyoureyelashesarelonganditreallysuitsyoureyetypedoyouusemascaraorsomethinglikethatbecausetheylookamazingandI'mprobablycreepingyououtrightnowsoIshouldprobablystopspeakingbutanywayyoureyelashesarereallypretty."
8. The person looks at me with a blank face, then politely smiles and says, "Um could you say that a little slower?"
9. I take this as a chance to save myself and try to form a coherent thought so I don't look like even more of a weirdo, but it's better than before so it probably ends up sounding violent but nice, like "Your eyelashes are really pretty, like I wish I could rip them out and glue them onto my eyes, they're that nice."
10. I hide my face in shame while they look at me with a confused and bewildered expression, then realise it was a compliment and blink then say something like "Uh thanks..."

If anyone could help me get over my awkwardness, please help me, I'd like to be a nice person instead of an intensely creepy one. I seem to have mastered it on paper, as my dance friends know, but I would like to be able to social some day. Please help...

So Very Flexible (Part 1)

Hello fellow strangers and people I've pestered to read my blog,

Thank you for voting on my poll. As most of you are dancers, there was a tie between Nutcracker and sleep or lack thereof. Those of you who aren't dancers, sorry, you'll have to wait approximately three business days for your package to arrive.

As many of you probably know, each year, Park City Dance does a performance of Nutcracker. We do variations of some of the dances and let the magic come to small children and grown adults on stage. If you want to witness this, free your schedule for December 19. It is located at the Eccles Center and I don't know how to get tickets other than at Park City Dance. Anyway, back to the actual subject. As Nutcracker hasn't occurred yet, I can't say how it went, so I am instead going to talk about auditions.

Okay, so auditions are extremely challenging, just so you know and most likely, you won't get a part, or a callback. I had never gotten either of those until this year. You get one part by default, but you can audition for more parts. I did that every year including this year and guess what? I got a part! Here's how it happened, and here are some tips in the mean time

The old arabian costume (Pictures from Park City Dance)

• Dress and act as you would for the part. I was auditioning for Arabians and they have a really intense gaze, so to intensify it, I chose a judge to look at every time we were to look at the audience. I also did a thicker eyeliner than I normally do. This was the first year I dressed the part.
• Practice as much as you can on the sideline, even after your group performed. People might notice this and appreciate the fact that you continue trying to improve, even after you finish. I kind of did this, I marked it, but couldn't do it full out because of all the people there.
Be confident. Even if you are the most self conscious little child, you must give off the air of confidence and people will believe you know what you are doing, even if you don't. 
• Read the requirements like they're your bible. This is extremely important if you want a specific part. 
• Audition for more than one thing, there are plenty of amazing roles to go around, and you're allowed to audition for as much as you want, and the more you audition for, the more experience you get and the more likely you are to get a role. 
• Have fun. Trust me, we're all nervous, but it's dance and if you're auditioning, dance should be fun for you, so enjoy the extra time you get dancing. 
• Lastly, if you don't get a role, don't fret it. Maybe this wasn't your year, or four years in a row, or maybe you just weren't ideal for that role, either by being too tall or too short. No matter what, it's not because you're a bad dancer. 

~Alicia

PS: Congrats to Taylor and Mikelle for elephants! You guys so deserve it and are amazing and beautiful. 

Pictures from Park City Dance

Also to Ali for Mother Buffoon! You are going to be such an amazing mother buffoon!!!

So Very Nostalgic

Hello fellow strangers and people I've pestered to read my blog,

I put up a poll last week, as everybody seemed to notice, and by everyone, I mean two people. (PS: I have a new poll too) It was about what to write about next. The result was a unanimous decision for me to write about my dance story. Just a warning, if you want a happy and funny post, skip this one.

So, it all started out in 6th grade, when my dad got his sabbatical, a thing where if you work hard and be a good boy, you can travel abroad for six months or a year to work there. This doesn’t happen often and my dad got the opportunity to do this. As I am bilingual and have been since I was a fetus child, I went to a Swedish school and met some amazing and tall friends.

I was short okay (Picture was taken by Rebecca on my terrible old phone)

The last day of school in Sweden (Pictures taken by my mom)

Anyway, I danced there, with crappy teachers in crappy studios just so I wouldn't stray too far behind in dance when I came back to the United States, and so that I could be with my friends when I came back. It was amazing. I took a 'jazz funk' class about half an hour away and traveled every Monday and Thursday on the subway for an hour to ballet and tap at a dance school in Sweden. It was too late to join academy teams by the time we realised that those are always better.

Anyway, I got back to the United States and since I had missed auditions, went to two different dance groups during academy camp. I started at a lower level but then got moved up and joined the best dance team in the history of the world. (Sorry anyone else) They were amazing and kind and caring and sweet and I loved them to death.

I was with them for two glorious years of laughter. In fact, at the studio, we were told that we were the closest dance group and I honestly and completely agree, we had sleepovers every other month on average I think, though I was only able to participate in two. I did feel slightly behind sometimes, but by the end of the year, I always felt that I was caught up, until I wasn't. After the results for Academy were posted, I was devastated. My friends were in Teen C (Ballet 7) and Senior A (Ballet 8A), which was amazing, but I, a former Ballet 6er, was moved to Teen A (Ballet 4) and Ballet 6 again. It hurt so badly and as an extremely self conscious person, I blamed myself for everything. I had been moved down two levels and would have to move up 4 levels the next year in order to be with my friends.

My mom blamed the dance studio and wanted me to be happy so she asked if I wanted to go to the other dance studio in Park City, but I had been in this one since I was 3 and I refused, after of course breaking down on the floor at the dance studio crying and saying I didn't want to dance anymore because it hurt so much. I went home that day and started a slideshow (Please don't click the link unless you were in the dance group), so that I could show it on the last day of dance. We were all a weeping mess and it was amazing. I remember Sawyer, one of the dance teacher's daughters coming in and saying that none of the people in her group were hugging or crying. I miss them so much and often keep blaming myself.  

During the summer, we met with two of the dance teachers and they both had the same reason that they moved me down because of my year in Sweden, but I find fault in that. First of all, why wasn't I told and second of all, why was I moved up.

Now, three months plus a few more of staying up all night crying and blaming myself, I have finally accepted that there's nothing to do but keep dancing and hoping that someday it'll get better. I don't feel challenged in jazz or tap, and I wish I were more challenged but there's nothing I can do about that.

To end this on a happy note,  I got the part of an Arabian for Nutcracker! I will be travelling to schools and performing and it's going to be great. It's my first call back ever as well as my first role ever.

PS: Sorry for the rant, I just needed to get this out of my system and wanted to express my honest opinion.