So Very Admiring

Dear Allie Brosh,
Welcome to my blog that has partially been written based off of yours. Not word for word or blog post per blog post because that'd be creepy, but you have inspired me quite a bit. Your voice is heard really well in your writing, and you always manage to make me laugh. I love your drawings, not because they're comparable to the Mona Lisa in quality, but because they are uniquely yours (Though I suspect your version of the Mona Lisa would be pretty fabulous). I don't really draw on this blog but that's beside the point, we are both really awkward bloggers that are trying to get people to laugh. (I would add a picture but the copyright monster would fight me and I don't want that)

Screenshot of your pageloads at the moment in which I am writing this...

Thank you for helping me push past the boundaries of writing so that I seem like a pretty good person in general and do things pretty well, to writing about my true self, no matter how awkward or strange that person may be. Because of you, I have figured out how to translate my voice into writing. Perhaps my current 800 something page views is not quite as impressive but I do hope you enjoy reading this awkward(ly amazing) blog now that you are here and reading it.

You are a talented and amazing person that blogs well and managed to encourage me to be my true self and introduce me to the world of blogging. Thanks to you, I now spend my free time randomly browsing through the many blogs on the internet making myself laugh, though none of those have made me laugh as often as your blog did. In fact, I distinctly remember reading every single one of your blog posts once I discovered your blog within a week. That took some serious dedication and time out of my hands, but it was totally worth it.

When I was told to write a post about someone that inspired this blog, and someone I would be so proud if they read my blog, and I had no clue who to write about. This was because I write about myself, for my own sake, getting to know myself. Then, I remembered how I first started reading blogs really and I immediately knew who to write about. You are like a cooler, better version of me and are extremely relatable. Thank you for bringing joy into my life for that one week that I actually read your blog and the many times I have revisited it.

Now that you've read some of the most awkward 450ish words I have one more small request to you. Would you mind commenting so that I know you read this blog because that would encourage me so much and it would let me know that you read it and just would generally be an amazing experience.
Sincerely,
Alicia Whitty
PS: You're a pretty witty person ahaha get it?

So Very Annoyed (Part 1)

Hello fellow strangers and people I pester to read my blog,
I have tried to avoid this subject because you guys hear enough about complaints but this is something I am extremely bothered by and I feel like people should know why this is before I bite their head off too much

Picture credits to here

First of all, let me put you in the right frame of mind. Imagine you have depression and have been diagnosed recently so you still have to get used to it and tell anyone you feel should know. You spend days mentally fighting about whether to tell their friends about this revelation then finally come up with the bravery to tell them, hoping they will be understanding and sympathetic and they just look at you and say something like, “Oh yeah, I feel depressed sometimes too.” How would you feel if they compared an illness that you had been clinically diagnosed with to an emotion? This would not only discredit what you just said but make you feel like you are overreacting about something that everyone has sometimes.

Picture credits to here

This is absolute bullshit. (Sorry to anyone who doesn’t like swearing) If this is you and you are one of the 6.7 percent with depression, I’m so sorry. Or one of the 2.3% of the population who has OCD and has to listen to people say, “Oh my gosh that makes my OCD hurt.” Or one of the many others who have to listen to people use an illness as an adjective. To learn more, click here or here or here or here

Picture credits to here

Why does this matter so much to me? Here comes the part I was scared to talk about. I have been diagnosed with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and depression, so this affects me directly, but I also know people who have told their friends and been told to stop being so dramatic because everyone goes through this kind of thing and just to try to be happier or try to focus (which by the way most of the time makes it harder to focus). When I hear about this, it pains me so much. 

I remember being so annoyed at my mom because she wanted to help me by telling my teachers about my ADD that I didn’t talk to her for a day in more than one word sentences. I was scared that they would think that I had ADHD which is different and judge me based on this but it’s been a week and so far my teachers seem pretty cool about it.

So to summarise, if you are going to joke about feeling so depressed or saying something is depressing, go ahead, just please think about the fact that you are discrediting an actual illness that is the 10th most common method of dying in the United States. If you don’t know if it’s okay, replace the word with a physical illness, and if it still sounds appropriate, go ahead and say it, but if not, please find another word to use instead, at least around me. Thank you for listening. 

So Very Flexible (Part 2)

Hello fellow strangers and friends I have pestered to read my blog,
So Nutcracker ended and is officially over and done with, sadly. I realise I probably should have posted about this earlier, but I was in Sweden and my computer was in the United States, therefore, now is the time that I shall speak about the Nutcracker. It was amazing, it was beautiful and I loved every single part of it. Why? Well first of all, I got to perform for small children, and I enjoy small children a lot. There's a reason I'm a babysitter. Second of all, I got to be with people I love, doing things I love.

School Shows

Me and Savannah, picture credits to my mom.

So the first big thing that happened after auditions was school shows. The teachers choose a few groups to go to schools and perform for children and it was great. Though I was often stressed, I got to high five a lot of people and got to know some of the jesters and other young kids. They are so cute and they reminded me of my days, back when I was prancing around in school, thinking what I was doing then was hard.

We went to four different elementary schools, including the one that I went to, so because we had a little extra time, me and my friend went to see if we could find our old teachers and say hi to them and I did, but only to my kindergarten teacher because I couldn't find any of my other teachers. It was exhilarating, sweaty and amazing.

Dress Rehearsal

About two weeks later, we enter the Eccles Center, wearing enough makeup to survive a month. Our hopes are high and our brains awakening, we get dressed and warm up, it was fun because we were with friends. Then, we get dressed and I figure out a friend who can help me change out of Waltz and into Arabians for the finale, with a 1 and 1/2 minute dance in between the two, and we space our dances for so long that everyone managed to get hangry. My favorite quote was one by Taylor.

"Don't talk to me until the food has touched my blood." And then, after taking artsy pictures with Savannah, we come back and do Secret Santa where I got enough food to feed Luxembourg for a day. 

The Two Shows

Finally, after four months of practice, rehearsing, bonding and bickering, we were performing. (For those of you who don't dance, I'm sorry. Basically, the performance is a jittery day of fun and excitement, plus a lot of stress that causes people to snap.) It went by in a wonderful blur of blue, brown and tan, aka the colors of our costumes. Every performance, I learn something about myself. This one was that I am actually pretty good with children and staying calm. 

Over and Done

It's over now and everything has changed since then, even though it's pretty much exactly the same other than the fact that at any point in time, no matter how warm I am, I can do my splits. I also have a deeper appreciation of dance and I know that I won't stop.